Realizations
by deliah10072
Summary: Set after chapters 72 and 73. Gil is remembering his real past, and realizes his feelings for his true master.


This is way too much right now. How could this all be happening so fast? What did I do to be caught up in this? All I ever wanted was to save my little master, to be happy again, to slowly move in to old age with someone that I loved.

Now everything is ruined. I can't even look into those emerald eyes anymore without feeling waves of disgust and confusion wash over me. My hands won't stop trembling, I feel like I'm going to vomit, and all I want to do is sleep. I stumble down hallways and narrow corridors, running in to outer corners of walls and barely seeing where I'm going, until I collapse in to the soft linen sheets of my bed.

Oh God, they still smell like him!

I scramble towards the edge of the mattress and heave my insides in to the waste basket there. Everything comes up with the acid, all those feelings, all those memories, all that wasted time spent on that _monster_. I will never get that back. Never. And that little bastard is probably laughing at me. I can hear that light, musical tittering now, growing in to a roar, laughing at me, the poor little Gilbert, just now realizing I was played all along.

Oz and Jack, both of them are one in the same. They killed my real master, my real sun, that radiant light of a man named Glen. I was to be next in line to all of his power, all that he has learned. He was in the process of passing it all to me, everything he's been through, all that he wished to share, share with _me_! _I_ was what he cherished! It was me who gained his undivided attention whenever I wished for it. I would give up anything for him, even this lie of a life that I've been living. All the comfort that I've known, all the memories, they mean nothing next to the shadow of my master, the shadow I wish to follow and fill.

Suddenly, a large storm wind rushes through the room, and a few black feathers fly down to land on the bed around me. Did I just call my chain? I don't even remember doing that; I didn't know I _could_ do that when I wasn't trying. What's wrong now?

My room is blurring, furniture and wall decorations scattered by the wind, the walls growing thin and fuzzy, and now everything I see is a blend of wind and feathers and cool sheets against my skin as I grip them. Everything is harder to see now, and I feel like I'm falling, falling down and all I want to do is sleep for a while…

Why does everything have to be so complicated?

This...is not my room. Or my bed. Or anything relatively close to the mansion. It's too…cold here.

My arms feel weak when I try pushing myself up off of the marble floor, and I stand on wobbling legs and look around. Well, it certainly looks like the Vessalius mansion, possibly one of the other families'?

Still, something seems off. Like I really don't belong here. I need to figure out where I am. I walk towards the door and turn the golden handle, cautiously pushing open the wooden barrier. The hallway is empty, save for a few tables and paintings along the wall. It looks very…lonely.

Off in the distance, I can hear dim chatter, like a party of some sort. A loud crash brings the group to silence, and a man begins speaking. I'm still too far away to hear what he's saying, but from what I can tell he's recognizing someone…giving someone an award or honor of some sort?

As I make my way towards the noise, that strange fuzzy feeling comes back, but I can still see perfectly. A bit too perfect, actually. Almost like tunnel vision, I'm only focused on the end of the hallway, out to the voice that seems to be calling my name.

"Now, please bring Gilbert to me."

Wait, he did just say that, right?

"Gilbert, my boy. You are ready to take responsibility of this power. Please know that. Now, we commence the ceremony, the first of more to come in the enlightenment of this young boy, my dear Gilbert."

What the hell is happening here?

I've finally made my way to the end of the hallway, and there's enough room behind a curtain for me to hide and still see what's going on.

My eyes widen in shock at the sight before me: for there, in the middle of the ballroom, surrounded by figures donning red cloaks, stand none other than Glen Baskerville, and by his side, me.

Have I somehow gone back to this place? I just learned of…no, I just _remembered_ my time here today. I can't possibly be here again, can I?

The room starts to chatter again as something starts happening. Can this…can this be when I was first introduced to Raven? I stagger back a bit as the wind of feathers begins, and my sleeve catches on an ornate candle behind me, causing it to fall to the ground. The noise brings unwanted attention my way, and soon the wind has stopped. I look up, my cheeks red with embarrassment and confusion, and see those magnificent violet eyes boring in to my very soul.

"Well, Gilbert, I wasn't expecting your visit for quite a while. But, your appearance is nonetheless always appreciated. Look at how much you've grown, my boy!"

His lovely and musical voice fills my head, flows through my body, and grips at my chest. He motions for me to come closer, enter the room, and allow others to see me. What possesses me to obey him? I wish to no longer be here, I want to leave!

I glance to the ground, and see the limp body of my younger self. How I wish I could have stayed like that…A smaller group of the hooded figures pick up my body, and carry it away, presumably to rest.

I'm stopped just before Glen, and I stare in to his face. He smiles, actually smiles! At me! I remember that he never smiled at anyone, but whenever we were alone, he would always break out of his gloomy shell.

I break out in to a grin, and even more memories fly out of my head and in to my heart. Small talks with Glen, long days spent tutoring me with the knowledge I'd need to grow in to a great man like him, The times when my smaller self would get confused as his kind words ghosted over my face, and I longed for my master.

Glen holds open his arms and I rush forward, kneeling as I go, and I hug my true Master's legs close. Finally, I am home! His hands slide through my hair, brushing loose strands out of my face and behind my ear. I look up, and I can still see the smile in his eyes, and I can only stare back in envy and in unaltered love.

He looks back up and around the room, around at all the people still here.

"I must ask you all to leave, I'm afraid. My guest and I have much to…discuss. It's been a long time since I've seen him."

As the last straggling guests filed out of the ballroom, Glen motioned for me to stand. He looked me up and down, the bright amethyst of his eyes moving agonizingly slow over every inch of my body, a small smirk present on his face. He takes my hand and leads me towards the old piano in the corner of the room, and sits down on the bench. As he's sitting down, I can't help but notice him, how his thin body glides through the air, the ivory and alabaster of his smooth skin, and the silken black framing his head. The small specks of gold throughout the violet in his eyes are hypnotizing, and when Glen blinks I realize I have been staring. The look on his face is amused, and he tilts his head to the side, indicating that I should join him on the bench. I slowly shuffle over to him, head bent down trying to hide my embarrassment, and as I'm sitting down I feel his hand on my shoulder, his thumb lightly stroking in soothing circles. His other hand touches my chin, pushing my head up so our eyes are level.

"Gilbert, do you know how you got here?"

He's looking at me expectantly, but my voice keeps catching in my throat, and all I can do is nod my head.

"Well, I knew you would be brought back here eventually. I made sure that it would happen, as soon as you would finally realize the truth".

I swallow roughly and dart my tongue out to wet my lips, and hesitantly speak: "What's the truth?"

His bemused laugh lights up his face so well as he leans closer to me, lifting his hand to slide against my cheek. "Oh Gilbert, the truth is that you love me. You may not have realized it until all of your memories returned to you, but I believe right about now you should be feeling the full effect of your… repressed emotions."

With those last words, Glen leans in so there is almost no space between us. I can feel his hot breath on my face, and my eyes focus in on his lips, hovering only a few mere centimeters away from my own. He licks his lips slowly, and I can just barely feel the tip of his tongue move against my lips.

"You know, Gilbert, I've been holding out for you."

I can't take it anymore, and I lift my head up to close the distance between us, and our mouths connect. His lips are soft and sweet, and the warmth radiating from him in to me is unbelievable. All I can do for a moment is just hold us together, mouths pressed hard, and revel in this feeling. Glen wants more though, and I can soon feel his tongue running against my lips, opening me up, and reaching in with the most searing kiss I will ever receive. The next thing I know, it's all teeth and hot breath, tongues rubbing against each other and lips being bitten, hands roaming and grabbing, trying to touch every inch of the other.

The next thing I know, Glen's wonderful heat is no longer enveloping me. I look up, confused and blushing, gasping for breath. Glen grasps my sides and lifts me up, and I scramble backwards a bit, my hands slamming on to the keys of the piano, creating a harsh noise. Glen keeps lifting, and I slide back farther, finally resting when I'm sitting on top of the piano, Glen kneeling above me with a predatory look in his eyes.

"Gilbert," he purrs, his hand sliding around my neck, gliding down and beginning to unbutton my shirt. "I believe that it's high time for you to be taken advantage of."

His hands are hypnotizing as the run over my chest and torso, and suddenly his mouth is on my neck, and then there's biting and sucking there that I never would have thought of liking. A bolt of pleasure rushes through me as Glen rubs and pinches an almost irritatingly sensitive spot on my chest, and I can't help the shuddering gasp that escapes me. I can feel Glen smirk against my face as he leans upwards and wraps his tongue around my earlobe, nipping lightly before sitting up.

I can barely keep my eyes opened, but as I look up to peer at Glen, I can't remove my eyes. His hair is slightly mussed up, and he's slowly unbuttoning his shirt, his right hand rubbing his own chest as he goes. Finally his shirt is off, and looks down at me, directly in my eyes, and I can feel the heat rising to touch my cheeks and the tips of my ears. He gives a small chuckle, and leans over to grab my hands, leading them to the fastenings of his pants. I get the message, and undoing the button and zipper, and he shimmies out of the article in the most irresistible manner.

The next thing I know, Glen is rushing to undo my own pants, and soon they are thrown on the floor alongside the rest of our clothing. He's still straddling over me, but starts shifting me along with him until my legs are spread and he's in between them, lying right above me, his hot breath ghosting over my face in uneven puffs.

"Oh Gilbert, you have no idea how long I've waited for you…" He starts slowly rolling his hips, and the sudden shock of pleasure leaves me breathless. "But don't worry my dearest; I'll make sure you never forget me again."

Soon enough, our hips are rubbing and grinding against each other, mouths locked in an insatiable kiss, hot breath bursting against each other's faces, gasps of pleasure erupting from both of us. I feel Glen's hands starting to slide down my chest again, and soon they're trying to pull down both of our underclothes at the same time. I reach down to help, and soon his soft hand is wrapped around both of our nether regions, and I can't stop my sound of pleasure. My hips keep thrusting into his hand without my permission, and sweat is pouring from both of us.

I'm quickly pulled in to a sitting position, and my head explodes with a dizzying confusion. Glen is kneeling before me, and my face is level with his waist. I look up at him, my confusion evident in my eyes, and he says "Please Gilbert, I need you to do this. It will help."

He keeps inching his hips toward my face, so I take his length in my hand. He gasps softly and twitches, so I wrap my hand around him and pull, like he was doing earlier. Cautiously, I flick my tongue out against him and he groans, grabbing the back of my head and pushing.

"Gilbert, I will not hold back any longer. Suck." And he shoves my head forward roughly, and I end up taking his whole length in my mouth, gagging slightly from the intrusion. Glen begins thrusting hard into my mouth, holding my head still, beginning to moan as he roughly fucks my mouth.

The heat in my mouth is suddenly gone, and replaced by three of his fingers.

"Make them as wet as you can, dearest. It will make you feel better."

Feel better? I guess I'll know soon enough, as Glen is pushing my legs to the sides and leaning down towards my nether regions. His breath tickles my stomach as he hangs his head over my own length, a small string of drool falling from his mouth and landing. Then, my whole body feels on fire as he takes me entirely in his mouth, tongue working around the head of my dick until I can't thing straight anymore.

I jump slightly as I feel his hand snaking towards my ass, and his finger begins poking towards my entrance, circling around the puckered skin before plunging in. It feels slightly uncomfortable, but the warmth of his mouth on me distracts from it, until a second finger joins in. Now the discomfort blends in to slight pain, and when Glen begins moving both digits around, a pained groan escapes me.

"Shhh, shh, don't worry Gilbert. The pleasure will come soon. I promise."

He's looking up at me, a look on his face that I can do nothing but trust, so I nod quickly and lay my head back down, sweat plastering a few stray strands of hair to my forehead. I'm grinding my teeth together rather hard now, and as Glen's third finger enters me the only thing I can do is suck in breath sharply as he prepares me.

"Oh Gilbert, you should see how damn irresistible you look with that look on your face. Confusion between emotions always did suit your beautiful face…"

Soon enough, the sharp pangs with every twitch of his fingers faded, and I came to anticipate the soft pulses of pleasure emanated throughout my body. My hips began moving of their own accord, and Glen chuckled lightly, and pressed my hips down into the wood of the piano, holding me still. In one swift movement, he removed all of his fingers, eliciting a shamefully embarrassing groan of disappointment from me.

Glen quickly shifts forward, aligning his hips with mine, and thrusts completely in to me, stopping with his pubic bone flush against mine. I have to breathe hard and slow to be able to stop the sounds of pain coming out of me, and soon I'm just lying there, squeezing my eyes shut with my head thrown back, neck exposed. Glen decides to take advantage of this, and lowers his head into the crook of my neck, biting lightly along my jaw line. He begins pressing soft kisses against my neck and cheeks, skimming his lips over my face.

"Oh Gilbert, please relax. I promise you, you will begin to feel something so wonderful you will wonder what you were missing out on. Just relax, and follow my rhythm."

I open my eyes and blink a few times, and stare into his eyes. The soft amethyst appears to be glowing, and I can only focus on the immense beauty in that face. I eventually nod, and Glen lowers his head again to my neck, resting his forehead against my shoulder. He begins moving, thrusting his hips against mine slowly, making sure I'm not in too much pain. Soon, his promise rings true: pleasure begins to envelope my body, and small whimpers and groans begin to escape me, and I really don't care. My hips begin a dance alongside his, and soon I'm rutting shamelessly against him, hands tangled in his hair and clutching at his back, no doubt leaving marks.

I look up at Glen, and his eyes are screwed shut, mouth hanging slightly open, but his teeth are clenched tight in concentration. I reach with one hand and let my fingers brush against his cheek. He opens his eyes to glance up at me, and my breath catches in my throat.

I cough slightly, trying to get my words out. "Please….give me…more."

His eyes widen, and a gasp rushes out of his throat, and before I know it he's thrusting into me with an unbelievable speed, allowing his own sounds of pleasure to meld with mine. He touches something deep inside me, and a bright flash comes over me, pleasure rushing through my veins, and I almost scream with the new feeling.

"Ah, I believe I found it. You liked that, right? Be prepared for much more, my dearest."

He proceeds to slam in to that small spot inside me, and I can barely keep breathing. I'm reaching out to clutch at anything, finally settling on Glen's shoulders and hair, roughly pulling Glen's lips to my own. He practically growls in to my mouth and we share the most amazing kiss yet. Biting kisses continue, and I can feel blood rolling down my chin, which Glen leans down to gladly lap up. I'm moaning uncontrollably now, Glen thrusting at inhuman speed into my body, his stomach rubbing against my own length, and the heat keeps spreading upwards.

I can tell that Glen is close to finishing because his thrusts are becoming irregular, falling in and out of the set rhythm, hips rolling against mine in the most delicious manner possible. The sounds coming from him are more beautiful than the music he writes, and I can't help but hold him tighter to my body. He reaches down to wrap a hand around me, and I almost lose it. My hips have a mind of their own now, lost in this immense and new pleasure, thrusting upwards and back, torn between the soft heat of his hand and the hard plunge of him inside me. I'm beginning towards my end, and so is he.

Glen somehow has some spare breath, and whispers to me in an unbelievably sexy voice: "Fuck, Gilbert, watching you come undone is amazing. Finish for me, now, I can't hold back any longer."

His words just finish of the last tie holding me down, and I just can't take it anymore. I grind back in to Glen's hips with ferocious vigor, wrapping a hand over his on my own length and pumping until I can take no more. I let out the loudest noise I can muster, stuttering with each pulse that flows over me, riding out my orgasm with slow yet urgent rolling of my hips.

Glen's breath is hot and fast in my ear and over my face, and I can feel myself tightening around him, and he growls loudly before releasing inside of me, thrusting a few more times before pulling out.

Glen almost collapses, letting his full weight rest on me, wrapping his arms around me. Sweat and the mess from our romp run together, satisfied breaths escaping us. I lazily run my hand through his hair, the other rubbing small circles on his back. The silence is blissful, the aftershock of orgasm still washing over us.

Glen peers up at me, a content smile on his face. "You know Gilbert, I'm glad I finally got to show you just how much you mean to me."

"I know, Glen. I'm glad you brought me here." I lean down and press a chaste kiss to his sweaty forehead. "I love you."


End file.
